Soap. My first real self promo was soap. Yeah, I did pens before I even had a logo. And the now ‘super rare AND valuable’ first generation business cards were done before the soap project, but those were more of a necessity. The pens were because my colleague, the self proclaimed ‘promotional AUTHORITY’ didn’t believe in metal pens. Said they were too expensive, the cheap plastic pens were fine for his practice. He’s prolly right, I’ll bet people steal his one color imprint plain vanilla plastic pens all day long, right?
Um, no. No they don’t.
So the pens, sleek metal pens laser etched were TECHNICALLY my first shot against crapassery in this revolution.
Until.
Until the soaps arrived.
Yeah, they sucked.
It was a business card sized rigid plastic case with about a dozen sheets of soap, roughly paper thin.
Translucent, in a lurid green case, with the text in the wrong font, they were distributed in days. And forgotten.

And completely misunderstood.
This company, as if you didn’t know it, was founded in revolution. Founded on the dream of a madman.
Founded on excellence.
A dream of doing things right, not easy. Authenticity, intimacy, and unexpectedness. Nothing too trite, too easy, to pay an answer as ‘slap a logo on a koozie’. That’s not how we roll. We build dreams, telling stories worthy of telling with 3-d things.
Yes, we have shamelessly ripped of chuck p.’s classic black comedy Fight Club, but the reason why is lost on many. It’s not about fight club, it’s a damn metaphor.
Fight club is bigger than guys fighting in basements and empty parking lots- its the story of dr. Jeckyl and mr. Hyde. And one mans struggle with two worlds, his 9-5 job working for whitey, and his 5-9 insomnia fuelled into madness because of the things that job forces him to do.
Oh, and towards the end? Things get critical mass. And out of his control.
I know where he is with that. Exactly where he is with that.
Exactly.
So, when in fight club they are making soap to sell in high end department stores, outta stolen liposuction fat, it’s really about them learning a level of chemistry proficiency. Proficiency for what is coming next.

Back to MY soap. Yeah, the first generation I did the #kooziemongercorporateassclowndouchecanoecatalogcarpetbombingtrunkslammerstalkergladhandguy way. Saw some in a catalog, slapped a logo and a line of type on em, and rushed out to distribute to anyone who would take em.
That was the old way. The wrong way.
It was quick, easy, and cheap. It was also inauthentic.
Trite.
Vapid.
This newest batch is lovingly hand made, replete with logo imbedded in the proper place, packaged like what it really is. A bomb. Throwable. With a fuse, sketch paper wrapping, and there’s been talk of testing of a proper length of something even more disruptive for the package. Film at eleven, if and only if it actually works.
No, the first gen soap wasn’t horrid, it was just easy. These new ones send a very clear message to the hand picked recipients- I like you just for being you, and hope you enjoy our shared inside joke. And for our many haters, the #kooziemongercorporateassclowndouchecanoecatalogcarpetbombingtrunkslammerstalkergladhandguys? It sends a very clear message, too.
Something like, well, this is a serious damn revolution, and although you CAN stalk, snipe, and trash talk our tribe, you don’t have the same level of game that we have. We have a story worthy of telling. We do swag worthy of stealing. And we shall blow up the misconceptions that the industry has fueled of us being #kooziemongercorporateassclowndouchecanoecatalogcarpetbombingtrunkslammerstalkergladhandguys. And rightly so, because many practitioners are. But our tribe? No,we sure as hells aren’t like them.
‘Tonight, we make soap.’